Your eyes are open again, today.

April 28, 2009 | Filed Under Personal 

This truly is the face of an unemployed gal.What exactly is it that you see? Scared? Happy? Nerve wrecked? Free?

How about: all of the above. I first want to say, WHOA! One tweet about me being unemployed opened the flood gate to all sorts of emails, DMs, and retweets (ever want to gain a boatload of new followers, announce you’re jobless). This was a surprising response and one that was a bit welcoming with all things considered.

BACK STORY:
It’s a very long, short story. I started in this industry much like many other search engine marketers, I just sort of fell into it. I started at a company who published an online directory and after gathering as much information (read: blog reading, book buying, conference attending) as I could, I began to excel in my field and I fell in love with the intricacies of search. From there I worked at a few smaller, search engine specific agencies and later was brought in-house to work for a local relocation/moving company. As much as I loved my boss and the company I worked for, I was limited. I like the diversity that working for an agency offered. After being approached to join forces with one of my closest friend and most respected colleagues to help grow her start up company, I couldn’t refuse. The short and skinny: a year later we ended up being brought in-house.

A job was guaranteed. One with benefits, a secure salary, 40 hours a week.etc. In the state that our economy is currently in, its hard to pass up on something like that. But when you’re spoiled to the freedoms of working from home and having the ocean as you’re oyster to be creatively productive, its really hard to go back without a fight. I attempted to fit back in that mold and I just couldn’t do it. The cubical, the security badge,  the monkey suits, traffic, and feeling as if I had lost my voice; I found myself depressed and disappointed in where my career seemed to be heading. After much deliberation and LOTS of soul searching… here I am.

With the blessings of my ex-boss, my husband, and my spirit, I decided to take a massive leap of faith in pursuit of the finer things in life. I’m not talking about money (considering being jobless doesn’t pay very well), I am talking about happiness. Finding my place in life. Somewhere where I can do what I do and feel good about doing it. I have never left a job without having another one lined up. Luckily, my skills are very diverse ranging from graphic designing to SEM/SEO. I am an intensely passionate person and extremely determined. I have confidence in that much. I don’t think I can go wrong with all that on my side.

I have a long road ahead of me. I understand this. I realize the world around isn’t a kind place right now but nothing in life that is well worth its weight in gold, is an easy target. I would love to be a free agent, to do my own thing, to be a (dare I say it) freelancer but to be honest, alone or as a team, it doesn’t matter either way to me. I just want to be part of something great.

This is a new chapter in my life. After turning in my computer and being escorted out (yeah, escorted. A new one for me) the drive home was intense. I felt free. I felt scared. I felt happy. Above all, I felt hope. A new slate. A chance to start over and truly give this the time and attention it deserves. I am excited. Naturally this excitement is laced with mixed feelings of fear but there is an undeniable lack of doubt there. If there’s anything I can hang on to right now, its that.

I am going to chase a dream. Someway, somehow, I am going to push my own limits and really see whats out there for me. Sink or swim. Do or die. Make cheese or not… I am going to make something happen for myself.

Starting today.

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